Blog

How much further are we really since the 1960’s bra burning movement…we still make relationship abuse a quiet affair.  My observation is that women are still closed about discussing abuse one-on-one with each other! We start movements to trigger conversations about abuse…but often we single out particular  type of abuse, like child abuse, sexual abuse, and so on…I am waiting for the day when we discuss and do something about all abuse simultaneously and not only in the eyes of the law but in the eyes and hearts of all people; men and women.  We seem to be a bit off when we do bring out the abuse, like for example, “metoo” movement focused on sexual abuse…I suggest we should be rising together against “abuse.”   By rising together I don’t mean rising against men, I mean rising against abusers, one at a time by uplifting women until they are strong enough to “tell” and identify the “abusers” instead of endure, therefore, shelter them.  The best way we can do that is to educate women who are in the shadows of their abusers; enlighten them and support them one at a time so that they feel empowered to call upon their courage until they feel powerful enough to create their own journey. Lets be their cheerleaders.

Abuse is abuse, regardless if it is verbal, sexual, physical, manipulation, deprivation, starvation, degradation, betrayal, alcoholisum…you see, so much can  go on inside an abused woman’s world.

Knowledge and support is power; power can cure one woman at a time, but unless we educate the men, create expectations and hold them to  those expectations nothing will change;  for every one woman that frees herself another woman will enter the abused woman’s world.

There are many wonderful responsible men, lets not throw the baby out with the bath water.

Single mom, make the father of your children responsible and society members help the moms to accomplish this enforcement;  the children are watching, abuse like responsibility is taught by the parents.

Today’s boy and girl is tomorrow’s man and woman.

When someone you love is hurting there is no greater feeling of helplessness.  At first you stay silent, while feeling  powerless.   Your worry compels you to give  warnings, advise, sometimes even bail him/her out of the depths of  despair.   You begin to feel desperate.  You see your loved one tied to the railroad tracks, you are watching the train coming his way;  it’s coming, it seems you are the only one who sees the train coming closer and closer, you feel the danger, you cannot do anything except pray that the train engineer sees him and, if the engineer is paying attention he will stop the train.

So goes the story of a loved one.  You pray he sees the danger and stops what is hurting him.  My brother died in the back seat of a police car.  His drugs compelled him to call the police because he saw Gypsies taking his furniture.   The engineer was not paying attention;  his parent’s old fashion pride and secrecy and the policeman’s complacency ran over him (Chapter Three).

The engineer could be you, the parents or strangers.  We must  all pay attention when dealing with loved ones in pain.  Mental deficiencies are not a disciplinary problem.

Yesterday, I went to the abused and neglected women’s shelter to bring my book as a gift to the women in the shelter.  I thought I would encounter office support staff  at the  women’s shelter, instead, I found myself in the store where the donated items are sold; a place for things.  Of  course, no access to the wounded and afraid women, they must dwell in a secret place where they are protected from the monsters that beat and abuse them, most often as the children are watching.   Instantly, I felt a kinship to the women  even though they were not at that location.  Suddenly my mind recalled the terror  I felt when my mother was beaten (Chapter Three).

I bring forth again, life is short, fast and one way – forward!  Don’t keep your secret if you are abused and beaten! Tell your secret to someone, compassionate people are everywhere.