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This week I am returning to Serbia, where I was born.  I’ve been there before while struggling to reclaim my life, but this time I am going to stay long enough to  revive my fondest childhood memories.  It is a poor little town, but I did not know I was poor when I lived there.  From my last visit I can report not much has changed.  I am going where water is scheduled because there are not enough water pipes, where electricity goes on and off,  that means we will have refrigeration on and off,  air conditioning on and off,  television on and off…every American who speaks against our country should go to live in Serbia so they can experience the remnants of communism and socialism.  There are few  freedoms for the people in this country but they are hopeful, they work hard, they share their last piece of bread with their neighbors, they welcome strangers in their homes with a smile!  I am  going there to feel their warmth, but I will be looking forward to returning to America the land of the free. I will write to you when I return end of July.

There are many thought-provoking phrases that offer wisdom and comfort.  One of my favorites was written by a very famous actor, Claude Rains  (1889-1967).

“All things once, Are things forever,  Soul, once living, lives forever.”

 

 

When you join Twitter, its like walking into an emotional maze.  It is a place or state of mind where you can observe humanity at its best and worst.   A broad spectrum of the intelligent, uniformed, kind, evil, serious, humorous, and the  most disconcerting tweets are from those who deliberately repeat fabrications and unwarranted vulgarity  while responding to  reasonable and sometimes seemingly kind statements.

Like Facebook, Twitter has fallen prey to the lonely, uniformed and evil tongues.  I anticipated to have interesting and enlightening conversations, with persuasion, enlightenment and compromise being the prevailing methods to resolve differences of opinion.  After all, shouldent we learn from one another.

After twenty-seven years of trying, it took Twitter to convince me I cannot persuade, enlighten, or find compromise with a troubled, closed mind.

When I came across unfair and vulgar comments made to someone kind like Vice-President’s wife, Mrs. Pence,  I decided to close the account and never return.  Then suddenly the next comment popps up and it is intelligent, kind and enlightening,   I  am lured to stay.  Knowing how to “block” the vulgar participants helps.

It was my publisher’s suggestion to open a Twitter account to network and market my book.  I’ve concluded  Twitter is unhealthy because the human heart looks for consistency, kindness and enlightenment,  not ignorance and vulgarity.  Sadly,  the Twitter population mixes these elements creating an emotional  yoyo effect;  one minute you are enlightened,  next you are outraged by the vulgarity.  There is no enlightenment or satisfaction in that style of communication.

It is sad to see humanity trough the Twitter prism.  I ‘don’t believe Twitter  adds any value to anyone, it is merely a venting medium.

Maybe the old-fashioned way of  gathering with friends and neighbors is the most enjoyable and productive way of communicating.

 

 

 

There are no forbidden place for black eyes!  You can find a black eye,  in places you least expect,  like next to the fruit  in your local grocery store.  Last Thursday, as I was passing by a food sampling  kiosk in my grocery store a soft voice asked me if I would like to try her chilli.  Before I looked  up at the person speaking I answered “no thank you.”  Foolish life of ours, we are always in a hurry for one reason or another…mostly unimportant reasons, at that.  As my eyes caught up to the voice I was startled to see her sad, tired face, lot of makeup covering her puffy black eye.  Feeling ashamed I stopped to warm up to her which opened the door for me to  inquire how she got the black eye. She said she bumped into something.  It was apparent she wasn’t asked about the eye before me because she didn’t have her story straight, couldn’t define the “something” she bumped into; first sign.  You look tired I said, with empathy.  Empathy touched her, tears filled her eyes  -I felt I knew how she got her black eye.

She was working, I didn’t want to complicate her life at work.  But,  I was alarmed.  I felt I needed to do something.  I went to my car, got my book and  a card with my telephone number, returned into the store and asked her if she would accept my book as a gift.  She accepted the book with more enthusiasm than I anticipated.   Our eyes met,  as she took the book she thanked and hugged me.  When I asked her to call me she said she would,  but I know from working with abused women for over fifteen years, the abused woman often does not call….sometimes until it is too late.

It never fails, whenever I encounter this type of circumstance I feel sadness; I feel compelled to do something.   I sit here with her on my mind, hoping she has someone who can continue to give her support until she can draw upon her courage  to change her circumstance.  Giving her my book and kindness is just a pebble in the sand.  My solace is that ants build mounds, one pebble at a time.

When we see a distressed woman lets take a minute to  let her know she is not alone.

Lets build mounds.

 

 

It never seizes to amaze me about people’s reactions when they are approached; either no response or response with interest probing about the book.  Those who probed ended up purchasing the book or sharing a story of their or their friend’s  experience.  Their compassion was palpable.

My objective during the book signing was to promote lively conversations about abuse and neglect many women and teen girls are enduring and to sell my book so that the owner would perpetuate the conversation or  give the book to someone who has opportunities to perpetuate the conversation and shed light on abuse.  I was very pleased that the people who purchased my book shared my objectives.  Compassion lives in many people.

At the end of the day I said to myself, there are people who care!  Compassion is alive and well.  It was uplifting to feel that way.  Those who were willing to stop and talk  desired to be enlightened.

If you know someone who is in an unhealthy relationship, be their cheerleader.